I'm back!

October 30, 2013

I'm back!

This story can be split up into two parts, both of which I’m sure sound ridiculous to the average person. I wanted to preface this post with an “I’m sorry” I know I haven’t posted in a long time, let me explain why….But I’m not. I can say why in 2 phrases. Not two sentences, but 2 phrases: Mid-service crisis and my computer broke. There’s one key on my keyboard that doesn’t work; it comes after k and before m. This was the sacrifice to the computer gods to have a computer that somewhat works. I had to actually cut and paste every singe “l” you see on this page from another document. So, basically I went through a lot of obstaces to get even this post written. Onward to the stories:

1. I watched the movie Spirited Away for the first time. If you haven’t seen it, you have to imagine. There’s a part where the boy/dragon living in ghostworld says to the main character that the mean headwoman controls them by taking away their name (therefore their identities) and they forget that they’re real people and conform to her ideas of what the universe should look like. I never throughout the entire movie, or most movies in that case, think about Togo as different reality. But, the second it got to the part of the movie discussing stolen identities, the first thing I thought about was my name is Ruth and my phone number is 770-875-……wait, did I forget it? Oh no… Here in Togo, I am known as Roukiyah and I have a Togolese phone number which is really the only way ppl can get in touch with me (albeit, not very reliably). I never thought about me taking on a traditional name or a togolese phone number as a method of subjugation, except for maybe subliminally, which came out in a moment I never expected. But, I do often think about how Togo is changing me; I'm developing qualities I don't recognize in myself, and I wonder how I will fare in America or in "the real world." I think this is an extension on how I feel about my mid-service crisis, if this lets you in at all as to how I feel/felt.

Story #2: I was sitting around with another volunteer friend, Ta'Mar, taking about a youth group we’re trying to keep up. This youth group was started by another volunteer, Sarah, who had to leave Togo through a pretty unfortunate circumstance. (I miss you so much!!!) This youth group is getting computer lessons, typing, basic computer skills, etc. And is meeting at a place in town (the only place in town) with a large amount of computers (6). The kids have to pay 1000CFA each per hour of computer use ($2 USD). Ta'Mar was under the impression that these kids were unable to pay the money each week to use the computers and came expecting to pay for the club wanting to keep it up, But, she was surprised to find out that one of the kids came out and presented 10,000 CFA ($20 USD), enough for the whole club. We literally had a 45 minute discussion afterwards over whether there was one rich parent funding all of them, there were a couple who had rich parents or had earned a small amount of money through small jobs to fund others and were hoping to get paid back, or everyone had brought 1000CFA and had entrusted one kid to hold on to and pay up the money (least likely option) and how this would affect the sustainability of the club. Ta'Mar was talking about for the rest of her service paying half of the fee out of her small living allowance to keep the club going and give the kids computer time and I was taking about the importance of allowing these kids to find $2USD a week so if they were really motivated, they wouldn’t be limited by her peace corps service, they could continue trying to build computer skills as long as they were willing to work for them. The cincher in the argument was that there were a few boys in the group maybe 2-4 out of them, who got their chance to explore, think outside the box and use their curiosity in a productive way through playing around with the computers, something that is generally discouraged in Togolese schools thinking outside the box, I mean). And potentially these kids had the opportunity to do something productive with their curiosity and what if, WHAT IF these kids were able to learn computers enough to make a job out of them and become successful. And these kids that might not have seemed to have any potential in the Togolese school system, might prove themselves to be very capable of a job working with technology, because they had that time to learn by their own standards, just trying things out. How much would that be worth? Adding to the capable Togolese work force by 2-4 people. Not that there are not a lot, and I stress A lOT, of intelligent, capable, Togolese people here. BUT, the Togolese school system pushes a large amount of kids out of the realm of success, and by that I mean the majority of people in Togo don’t make it past 6^th grade. Not because they are not smart enough, but because there are plenty of obstacles. We have the luxury in the US of having different “methods of learning” and having teaching catered to the learning style of our children. Here, essentially, its our way or no way. And most of the time is no way. Or to be more exact, farming. So, now we come back to THE question of development. Do we pay for the kids to keep this up, knowing we can get some good results out of it, but not sustainability. OR do we force these kids to pay for themselves, potentially excluding some of them, but making their motivation the driving force for betterment and pushing those who are willing farther than they might have gone if they were just getting free money? This isn’t a question I’m opening up to you, because frankly this has been my life and the life of many other peace corps volunteers for the past year (and I'm sure a lot farther back in Peace corps history as well). We just roll this question around in our heads for two years and try to get stuff done with this in the back of our minds.

But, I just wanted to present a little virtual pamphlet of what has become the standard of a casual conversation, a daily thought and the meaning of all of my work. That being said, I give a huge thank you and congratulations to a the peace corps volunteers that I have met, worked with and heard about, not just here or in Africa, but everywhere, for getting done everything that they have accomplished.

I hope to be writing more in my blog, athough it might be hard to read(because of my "l" situation), and I want to talk about some of the things I’m working on and have been doing, but it’s a struggle. As much as I love this place for what it is, I will never lie to anyone that I just see lovely children's faces everyday that benefit from me or my work that make everything worth it or that I’m making such a difference here that I could never imagine my life any other way, etc. I think I’m doing something worthwhile, but I know that I’m fighting to do so, every millimeter of the way.

Now on a happier note: Pictures!

Traveling in Togo: My parents traveling to my village and me traveling everywhere else